Buckets of Blessings

A couple of Sundays ago in church the message we received for the day was about “Buckets of Blessings”. The topic was based on the book, How Full Is Your Bucket? by Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D.48.31562A

A brief overview of the premise of the book is that everyone inside of them has an invisible bucket. When we are filled with love, joy, gratitude, happiness, etc., our buckets are full and overflowing. But on the opposite end of the spectrum, when we are feeling angry, sad, bitter, unforgiving, etc. our buckets are very low if not completely depleted. And whether our buckets are full or empty, we project the contents of our buckets to others through our words and actions.

Now, the other part to this topic of having invisible internal buckets is that we each are also equipped with dippers, which would resemble a ladle. As we share love, kind words, encouragement, support, a smile, a laugh and compassion with others, we are filling their buckets, even if they have not been filling their own buckets. Yet, when we judge, condemn, refuse to forgive, hold anger and bitterness in our hearts towards others, we are dipping into their buckets and taking away their supply of good. But the most powerful lesson of all is that as we give or take away from someone else’s bucket, we do the same to our own supply. So the question we were left with was “Are you a bucket filler or a bucket dipper?” We were then each handed a miniature sized bucket that had someone’s name written on a piece of paper inside and throughout the week we were to be bucket fillers by sending positive and well-meaning intentions and energy to the names on those slips of paper.

In my own experience from doing the exercise, it felt good to feel my own energy level rise as a result of doing something good for someone else….even something as simple as sending positive thoughts. So my question to you as it was placed to me, are you a bucket filler or a bucket dipper?

Bucket filler Bucket dipper

If you are striving to be a bucket FILLER, here are five strategies that were shared with us on how to keep your buckets and others’ buckets overflowing:

1. Prevent Bucket Dipping
(So avoid negative thoughts, words, energy and actions as much as possible. It isn’t always easy, but it is possible if you step back and observe yourself more closely. By doing this you will quickly recognize if you’re dippin’)

2. Shine a Light on What is Right
(Love and praise all that is good and keep your comments to yourself when someone makes a mistake. For those of us who are parents, we strive to practice this daily by encouraging and being coaches to our kids and praising them for their good instead of condemning them for what they do wrong. If you absolutely HAVE to shine light on a mistake, choose your words carefully and correct with love)

3. Make Best Friends
(Value the people who come into your life for everyone comes into your life for a reason or a season. Appreciate and honor them and take the time to foster a friendship with them as when done in love, friendships are mutually beneficial)

4. Give Unexpectedly
(Do something nice for someone that isn’t expected. Treat a co-worker to lunch, iron your husband’s shirts, watch your neighbor’s kids for a couple of hours so they can go on a date. All of these and so many others are little things that can mean so much to someone else. And in doing something from the heart that is unexpected, it makes you feel great!)

5. Reverse the Golden Rule
(The Golden Rule states “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”, which deals with reciprocity and the idea that so as you give, so you receive. But why not give without expecting anything in return? Why not give of yourself freely and joyfully to others without expectation of them returning the favor? How freeing would it be to do a favor for someone without expecting them to “owe you back”, or giving a few dollars to a homeless man on the street without questioning whether or not he keeps his word to you and really uses it for the food he says he’s hungry for or if he uses it for something else? Think of how good it will feel to do something good from the heart just because)

I encourage everyone as we travel through this midlife celebration to think of ways we can be bucket fillers instead of dippers. Bless others with the gift of who you are authentically and your bucket will constantly runneth over.

In Celebration,

Don’t Call it a Midlife “Crisis”

By definition, according to the Penguin English Dictionary 2nd Edition sitting here on my desk, a crisis is "a time of acute difficulty or danger…" So if you break that down, to embrace the term "midlife crisis" really translates into "my life is in or is headed for acute difficulty or danger". Honestly ladies, given the already uncertain emotional state that you're in, do you really want to add the loom and doom of "acute difficulty or danger" as a little black rain cloud hanging over your head?Angry-woman-2_Full

I didn't think so….at least I know I didn't, which is why I embraced the idea of CELEBRATING this wacked out stage of my life. The idea of champagne toasts and fun (celebration) just sounds more palatable than banging my head up against brick walls and running scared all the time even if in the figurative sense (difficulty and danger), dontchathink?Champagne_toast

I created this blog and most recently the companion Facebook Page, Women's Early Midlife Celebration, to appeal to women in their pre-midlife "crisis" years. Women like me, who are approaching or are in the second half of their lives and are feeling the angst of what is to come and is commonly known as the "midlife crisis". This can be a very trying time in a woman's life emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. There are many feelings of anger, sadness, frustration and sheer hopelessness.

Society has dubbed this time in both men and women's middle years as a crisis, and interestingly enough, people have fallen into that very trap. At the first sign of distress, confusion, grey hair, arthritis or emotions they don't fully understand, they willingly embrace going through a midlife CRISIS, when in fact it should be looked upon as a midlife CELEBRATION.

Amidst what is clearly an emotionally troubling period in life, why consider it a celebration? Well not only have we been blessed to live long enough to experience this point in our lives, but we now have a bit of wisdom on our side that tips the scale of balance. We will not journey through this second stage of life the same way we groped around blindly up into this point.

This wealth of wisdom that has now been deposited into our life account doesn't mean we will glide through the second half of our journey unscathed, on the contrary. There will be bumps in the road here and there, but maturity, wisdom and past life lessons will guide us over these minor hurdles with what should be minimal damage.

Right Here, Doing It™ is about acknowledging and embracing what is out of balance and celebrating the fact that not only can we get back into balance, but there are many wonderful ways in order to do so. This is not a cookie cutter solution where one method is expected to work for everyone. Right Here, Doing It™ is about honoring and respecting the individuality of each woman, and knowing that as women and beings on this planet, we have to find what works best for us. What works for me may not work for 50 other women and vice versa. But what is so amazing is that there is something for everyone.

So when I tell you that I am Right Here, Doing It™ with you, please believe that. All that I am doing to help other women feel good about themselves and find tools and solutions to navigate through this transition into the second stage of life is just as therapeutic for me as it is for you. And it is my hope that as we travel on this midlife celebration journey together that I can be of support and encouragement to you, as I know you will be to me.

So please, check back with me often for ongoing encouragement and support, and stay tuned as I try and figure out how to now get my blog posts to import over to my Facebook Women's Early Midlife Celebration page instead of my personal profile page. Hmmmmm.

In Celebration,

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