English: GYMS, LA's High-Tech NEW Gym!, Personally Fit LA's High-Tech NEW Gym! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Losing weight, getting in shape and eating healthier on your list of resolutions for the new year? You’re not alone. Those very goals along with quit smoking, improve finances, get out of debt and spend more quality time with loved ones rounds off the top New Year’s resolutions.

Like many, you may have tried and failed at health related New Year’s resolutions in the past and are determined that this year, things will be different. Again, you’re not alone. Yet this year, instead of retiring your new workout outfits and new blender right around January 15th before you’ve had a chance to really get your money’s worth, let’s set you up for success from the onset shall we?

You’ve already identified that you want or need to lose weight and eat better, which is great. What you probably haven’t identified are the reasons why you’re overweight and living on a diet of takeout and bagged, boxed, canned or frozen processed foods. This is where you have to be completely honest with yourself – what are the attitudes, behaviors and beliefs that got you to where you are right now, are they working for you, and is this a comfortable place for you for the rest of your life?

Wanting to look great naked or to be someone who is always beach body ready are definitely good motivators to get you moving and eating better, but are they the real reason behind your current habits and lifestyle? Probably not.

Hawaiian woman (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Obesity is the number one epidemic in our nation and for a great number of those who teeter on the obese side of the scale, many of the eating and weight problems obese people face are rooted in an emotional issue. Loneliness, depression, feelings of inadequacy, low self worth, abandonment, fear – these are all painful emotional triggers that can be soothed with food as comfort and even companionship. These may not be your emotional triggers as to why you are where you are in your life right now, but there is a trigger. In order for you to make a New Year’s resolution to lose weight and get healthy that will actually stick, you and you alone have to be bold enough to identify that trigger and be willing and ready to change it. Here are some things you can do to put you on a path to success:

Topping the list of resolutions that are believed to improve one’s life are: lose weight, get  in better shape, eat a more nutritious diet, quit smoking, improve finances, get out of debt and spend more quality time with loved ones. These are all worthy goals that will most definitely enhance the quality of life if they are seen through to completion. However sadly, studies show that most people abandon their resolutions and fall back into old habits before the month of February is well under way.

Researcher John Norcross and a group of colleagues have been conducting the success and failure rates of New Year’s resolutions for the past 30 years and have published their findings in the Journal of Clinical Psychology. They found that on average 50% of the population start off the new year with resolutions. In one study conducted over a six month period, they found that 71 percent stayed on course for two weeks, 64 percent for one month and 46 percent for six months. So while the numbers did significantly drop, a fair amount of people still stayed the course to what they started at the beginning of the year. But what’s interesting to look at here is not why some people failed, but what were the ingredients that caused others to succeed.

Typically, people enter into the new year with a lot of passion for steering their lives in a different course than the previous year. They are determined to look sexier, eat healthier, be wealthier and an overall happier person. They dive in ready to take on this new persona and lifestyle of sexier, healthier, wealthier, happier, but with no real sense of direction or course of action.

Sure, they know that to be sexier and healthier they must cut out junk food, dump the beer and cigarettes and get off the couch, or to be wealthier they need to eliminate their debt and bring in more money. To reach these goals, they employ what is usually a short list of things they plan to do. Here’s an example:

• Go on a diet
• Join the gym
• Hire personal trainer
• Pay off credit cards

The problem with this short list example is that the goals are too broad and not very specific. Most people will overwhelm themselves by trying to do everything at once and when they realize they haven’t a clue how to make it all happen, they quit.

For example, single mom of three, Tasha who also works a full-time job, plans to join the gym and hire a personal trainer without figuring out when she’ll have time to make it to the gym and where the funds to finance those endeavors are going to come from. She also plans to pay off her credit cards but fails to first look at her current expenses to determine which ones she can realistically eliminate and take that money that would’ve gone to those old expenses and apply them to her lowest balanced credit card so the account is paid off faster. Instead, she moves full speed ahead into her well-intentioned but poorly thought out resolutions and by January 20th she’s stopped going to the gym – paying monthly for a one year contract membership she doesn’t use which has actually put her deeper into debt – and she’s no closer to paying off any of her credit cards because with her new gym expenses, she has no extra money to go towards beefed up payments. What happened to Tasha? She wasn’t specific in setting her goals which at the onset made them lofty and feel unattainable.

La Jolla Goal Wall (Photo credit: lululemon athletica)

Instead of trying to accomplish everything in one huge chunk starting January 1st, it would’ve been better for Tasha had she broken down her big list of goals into smaller bite-sized steps. So with the example of “Go on a diet”, Tasha could’ve set a simple two-week goal for herself to stop drinking soda and consuming more water. Once she hit that first two-week milestone, she would add another two-week goal to eat five or more raw, fresh fruits and vegetables daily. After each milestone, Tasha would begin to feel more empowered to continue the progress she’d made and her belief level in her ability to successfully reach goals would be through the roof.

So getting back to the point we covered earlier about looking at the ingredients that cause people to succeed, before any type of new years resolution or goal big or small is going to be successfully implemented, what really needs to happen first is a change in behavior which begins with a shift in mindset.

Intending to lose weight, eat healthier and get out of debt mean nothing if you are not willing to first dig deep to understand what got you to the point of being overweight, living off of fast food and financially stretched beyond your means. Once you can be honest with yourself about what attitudes/mindset and behaviors got you to where you are, you then need to decide if those things are best serving you and if you are happy with the way things are. If not, you need to make a conscious decision that you want something different and are willing to take action to make it happen. No excuses. This is where your mindset shifts and resolutions broken down into smaller attainable goals come front and center. This is where you have the opportunity to join the ranks of the 46 percent who are still going strong six months into implementing New Year’s resolutions.

So if you’re one of the 50% contemplating New Year’s resolutions, here are some initial steps to take to start you off on the right track:

1. Determine what you’d like to change in the coming year.
2. Ask yourself honest questions about why you’re looking for a change and if what you’ve done up to this point is working for you and if you’re comfortable with things staying the same going forward.
3. Write Out your New Year’s resolutions making the list realistic without listing too many things that will become overwhelming.
4. Break Down your resolutions into smaller, attainable goals and assign time lines – two weeks, 30 days, 90 days, etc.
5. Seek accountability. Share your resolutions and goals with someone who you know will support you and who will follow up with you to make sure you stay on track.
6. Celebrate your successes. With each smaller milestone you hit, reward yourself with a special treat – a new piece of clothing, lunch at a favorite restaurant, a manicure or a matinee with small popcorn.

There’s nothing wrong with making New Year’s resolutions, and for some they are fun and successful traditions. What puts such a sting around resolutions is that they seem to fade into the wind about as quickly as they were declared. This year, and in the years that follow, you can turn the tables on the popularly taboo topic of declaring New Year’s resolutions, and possibly even garnering more favorable results for yourself than past years attempts by following the above guidelines to ensure you declare resolutions that will truly stick. Happy New Year!

Kitara R. Wilson

Ready to win at your New Year’s health and fitness resolutions? Click the image below to get started!

This is an easy recipe that doesn’t require a lot of complicated ingredients. And since this is my first time posting a recipe on my blog, for those of you who I am not connected with on Facebook and you don’t know this about me already, unless it’s a recipe that I’m actually following, I don’t do exact measurements. I’m one of those by sight and by taste cooks, so if I post a recipe that I create by sight and taste, expect me to be pretty vague when it comes to measurements. This particular recipe just so happens to be one of those with vague instructions. I apologize in advance for not being more exact for those who need it, but I  just don’t have the time, nor the desire, to figure out exact measurements. Besides, based on the hundreds of recipes I’ve read and tried, people tend to alter the original versions anyway, so in that same spirit, feel free to take what I have here and suit it to your liking, or, search out another tofu scramble recipe (that’s how I learned) with exact measurements listed. Either way, enjoy!

Tofu Scramble

1 Package Soft or Firm Tofu (the firmer the tofu the harder it is to break it down into that scrambled egg-like consistency)
Cooking Spray
Ground Turmeric
Black Salt*
Pepper

*Black Salt can be found in local Indian markets and online. It has the smell and taste of eggs (hard boiled IMO) which really gives you a close-to-egg experience in terms of taste. The salt is a very light tannish color and the texture is powdery. It doesn’t resemble salt at all in sight, smell or texture, but it is a form of salt after all and even though it tastes like eggs, be careful because in your quest to make your tofu taste like your favorite Saturday morning eggs, you don’t want your scramble to become too salty.

Lightly coat a non-stick skillet with cooking spray and heat.
Open tofu and drain. Place entire block of tofu into heated skillet and begin to break it down with a spoon until it is in small crumbly pieces.
Add about a teaspoon of ground turmeric and mix into the tofu. The turmeric serves to to turn your white tofu yellow. If after mixing in you don’t find your tofu yellow enough, add more turmeric.
Once your tofu has reached the desired color, season with black salt and pepper.

Salsa

1 Container Grape Tomatoes
2 Cloves Fresh Garlic
1-2 Serrano Peppers (depends on how hot you like your salsa)
1/2 Medium Sized Red Onion
1/2 – 1 Cup Fresh Cilantro Leaves
Juice of 1/4 Lime
1 Teaspoon Agave Nectar (optional)
Ground Cumin (to taste)
Pepper (to taste)
Salt  (to taste)

Place all ingredients into blender or food processor and blend/process. Take a spoonful and plop on top of your tofu scramble and enjoy!

And here’s a tip – whenever I make salsa (which is very, very often) I always use my salsa to make guacamole. I just mash up a few ripe avocados with a fork, add some of the freshly made salsa (be sure to drain the amount you’re using so your guac doesn’t become runny) along with a little more salt, pepper and lime juice, stir and voila! ; )

In Health,

Kitara R. Wilson

Life is busy, right? It can be calm one minute and then frantic, hectic, crazed and downright insane the next. With so much going on in our lives it can be a challenge to carve out a little slice of “me time” to help balance things out and keep you from going nuts.

At the beginning of the year if you resolved to improve your health and physical fitness and actually started working out and eating better you’ve already taken one giant step towards doing something great for yourself that honors that resolve to be healthy - congratulations! Now, here’s the kicker – don’t sabotage your efforts by not honoring your workouts. What do I mean by that? Here are some examples….

* Skipping your workouts to go home and sit on the couch or go out for dinner and drinks with friends because you don’t feel like
working out or think you’ll be missing something.
* Putting forth half-baked efforts in your workouts by not working to your maximum intensity level.
* Talking on the cell phone while on the treadmill, elliptical, stationary bike or even while doing resistance training.
* Texting while on the treadmill, elliptical, stationary bike or even while doing resistance training.
* Spending more time socializing at the gym than working out.
* Focusing more on what’s on the TV screen in the gym rather than the effort you’re putting into your workout.
* “Rewarding” yourself after a “hard” workout with a pizza and beer or some other poor food choice.

Check out this fun little video I put together showing you how NOT to workout, emphasizing many of the common sabotage mistakes listed above….

When you workout it isn’t just some “chore” or “thing” you have to do. It is part of the plan you decided for yourself when you first decided to take control of your health. And let’s face it, for many of you this is the only window of time in the day you have to yourself without kids, spouses, bosses and co-workers demanding all of your attention, so yes, this time in the gym is almost sacred.

Don’t blow the goals you’ve set for yourself to be a healthier, stronger and sexier you, and don’t dishonor this time you’ve carved out to honor those goals by squandering it on poor choices and lazy mental fortitude. If you’ve been guilty of any of those examples listed above, it’s time to get your head back in the game and remember the goal. You are just as important as your girlfriend’s dating crisis, your kid’s overdue science project, your spouse’s midlife meltdown, your boss’ unreasonable demands, your church’s fundraiser or your niece’s dance recital. Put YOU on your to-do list and block out all other distractions for 60 minutes of your day. That really isn’t asking too much.

So get to the gym, the local running trail or push play on your DVD remote, whatever it is that gets you moving, especially when you don’t feel like it. Turn off your cell phone, work hard and skip the detour into the Burger King drive thru on your way home. You’ll feel so much better, and a few months from now when you’re a few sizes smaller, you’ll be glad you did.

In Health,

Kitara R. Wilson

Lately I’ve been reminded more and more of how important it is to seize opportunity when it is presented to us.

So many of us are presently wishing, hoping and praying for change and improved circumstances, yet when opportunity arrives in an unwrapped package that looks nothing like the glamorous gift box we envisioned, we shun it thinking that can’t possibly be the opportunity that is meant for us. Truth is, that is probably exactly what is meant for us. Unfortunately, we’re so stuck in our ways disillusioned by the idea of opportunity being some grand and Hollywood style presentation that we miss the simplicity and power of something that at first blush may seem insignificant.

Below is a video I put together to talk about seizing opportunities with a special message to moms. Check it out.

So, what did you think? Again, please don’t think I was excluding anyone even though I was appealing to mothers….it’s just that I have a very special understanding and connection to those emotions so many moms in a single income family are faced with.

And remember, even though I shared an opportunity that benefits everyone, not just moms, you have to find the opportunity, product and/or service that works for YOU. If it isn’t in integrity with who you are and what you believe in and it doesn’t feel right, DON’T DO IT. It will never be authentic and you will never experience joy and abundance as a result of your association.

It doesn’t matter to me if you contact me or not about the opportunity I shared, what does matter is that if you have been looking for something better, find something that is great for you and go for it! Pay attention to not only those bright shiny packages, but those small little dingy things that may not seem like much, but could honestly be the opportunity of a lifetime.

I wish you much success, joy, happiness and prosperity in your journey. Please share with those who could benefit from this message and be sure to share your comments below.

In Celebration,
Kitara

I’ve recently been challenged with a situation that involves another parent and our boys. It is a somewhat tense situation that has caused me to really appreciate the truth that my kids are paying attention to and learning from my every move. Here’s a video I made about it:

So while this situation has not been an easy or pleasant one, it has taught me a lot over the past several days so I am grateful for the lessons that are unfolding as a result of this situation.

Have you been faced with a similar situation where you had to take the higher road, even thought you may not have wanted to, and how that benefited you in the end? I’d love to hear about it! Please share in the comments section below.

If this post has been helpful to you or if you know someone faced with a similar situation who may benefit from the information, please pass this along, I’d appreciate it. Take care!

In Celebration,
Kitara R. Wilson

I do not have a relationship with my own father because he chose to deny me from birth. I grew up without any firsthand knowledge of what it meant to have a father’s unconditional love.

It wasn’t until the birth of my own children that I was able to witness and truly understand what a father’s love is through my husband.

Parenting is probably the hardest yet most rewarding job that can be given to a human being. It is filled with sacrifice, humor, regret, pride, humility and far too many other emotions to list. Yet despite the many ups and sometimes downs of parenting, I have witnessed my husband time and time again rise to the occasion to do what is necessary to be the best father possible.

My husband is genuinely committed to bringing out the very best in our children and he is willing to do what is necessary to ensure that their best interests are always met.

I am grateful and thankful to my husband for being the father that he is to my babies, and for giving me the experience of finally knowing what a father’s love truly means.

To my husband and all of the other amazing fathers out there who are active and present loving forces in their children’s lives, this is for you:

Happy Father’s Day!

In Celebration,
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Bugs is pretty lighthearted about the little mix up and after closer examination of his map deduces that he “should’ve turned left at Albuquerque”. But if he’s accompanied by his cantankerous pal Daffy Duck, Daffy of course has plenty to say about the unexpected detour.

Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell Daffy that’s how life works. We set goals and plan for a great adventure, but things can, will and do happen along the way. That recent promotion to Executive Admin instead of Marketing Coordinator may not be what you had hoped for or make any sense right now, but perhaps it is a detour that has been placed in your life to prepare you for what is to come?

As an Executive Admin you may be responsible for overseeing a group of clerical staff. In this role you will undoubtedly sharpen your leadership skills and learn how to effectively manage people. These added responsibilities, that you probably would not have had as a Marketing Coordinator, will better equip and qualify you for eventually running an entire department as Marketing Director. So while the immediate detour may appear to take you off course, stop and evaluate how this temporary change in direction can truly be to your advantage.

In fact, I saw a great quote today on Facebook that really resonates with the message of this topic:

“When obstacles arise, you change your direction to reach your goal, you do not change your decision to get there.”

–Zig Ziglar

So yes, your carefully mapped out plan may get a little off course and perhaps you should’ve made that left at Albuquerque, but consider all of the wonderful opportunities that surely await you as you make your way back to your original route. Relish the journey along the way and you just may discover that your detour in life turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

Now here’s a little something to help you reminisce and enjoy some of those classic Bugs Bunny Albuquerque moments.

If  this post helped you in some way, I would appreciate you sharing with others who may be helped by it as well!

In Celebration,
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Kitara R. Wilson

CBS News Mobile Story Details.

Recently I’ve been actively reaching out to others who appear to have common interests and inviting them to be Facebook friends. Now, we’ve all seen people with swelling FB friend numbers, so many in fact that they have to stop accepting friends and create a fan page.

Well, I have a goal of reaching out to about 20-30 people per day in an effort to grow my network – nothing unusual there. Two days ago I made a connection with a woman that started off like all the others. She accepted my request so I replied by thanking her, telling her I’d met some great folks on FB and asked what she does.

She responded back and said she’s a real estate broker but that she’s on hiatus after an intrastate relocation over the winter months. In response, I asked her what is she doing during her hiatus. That’s where it all went south.

An innocent question I thought, curious if she perhaps is taking advantage of this time to pursue a hobby or life long dream, was interpreted as me prying into her personal affairs. She replied with…

“That’s kool but now I think you’re trying to dip into a grown woman’s personal business? What I do with my time while I’m on my hiatus, is my business don’t you think?” I apologized and told her no foul play was intended, just making conversation and curious if she was using her time to pursue other interests.

She replied back by saying “Gotcha. But I had answered previously already. I’m a real estate broker, currently taking a hiatus to ‘settle my home from my very arduous relocation over the winter months’” I then simply replied back and said “I hope this time is proving to be fruitful and beneficial for you.” She replied back yesterday morning with…

“I cannot see why it would not be- I aspire to be able to walk freely about my home and enjoy the summer as much as I can as would anybody else vs. living out of boxes and seeing my things misplace. Just a bit common sense that it would be, don’t you think?”

I removed her as a FB friend.

I don’t have time in my life for negative people. I am in a place where I am surrounding myself with positive people and experiences. I am bringing abundance and prosperity into my life. My actions and interactions not only affect me but my family. I cannot allow anyone and their negativity, whether they realize they are negative or not, to stand in the way of the abundant good that is my birthright.

So yes, while having a large network of friends on FB and other social media platforms increases your sphere of influence, I am more concerned with the quality of folks I let into my circle. I’d rather have 10 positive people with joy in their hearts as my friend, vs. 1,000 negative, bitter, jealous and angry people who don’t know how to love themselves or anyone else.

There is no need to remain in association with negative people. It doesn’t matter if they are on FB, at your job or live next door. You are in control! Decide what kind of people you want to surround yourself with and seek out those types of people. The more positive people you are around, the more positive people you will attract. You will radiate such an air of confidence and joy that you will not be able to help but to attract the right kind of people to you.

Now of course, in knowing that, I’ve had to ask myself how on earth I attracted her into my life because I am a kind and positive person. Well, the simple answer is that she was placed in my life to teach me a lesson…the very lesson I am passing on to you.

But what I think is the more complex answer is that perhaps this woman needs to be blessed. She may be gong through a difficult time in her life. She may suffer from insecurities and low self-esteem. She may be unhappy and the only way she knows how to feel good about herself is to attempt to make others feel small. I don’t know what her situation is to be honest, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that there is something deeper going on with this woman that has absolutely nothing to do with me.

My communication with her from start to finish remained friendly and positive, yet she felt the need to attack and try to belittle me. There’s a deeper reason for that, and whatever it is has been brewing long before I sent her a friend request.

Of course initially my conscious mind responded immediately with the thought “This #itch is crazy.” But once I got still for a minute and allowed my spiritual mind to come into play, those less than loving thoughts in my conscious mind fell away and I saw a woman in need, a woman who may be looking for love and joy in all the wrong places. So I did the only thing that I have the power to do to help her, I prayed for her. The rest is between her and the Creator.

So while expanding my network to be able to connect with and help as many people as I can who want and need my help is my goal, having a large network for the sake of numbers is not. I realize that everyone I connect with may not materialize into a lifelong friend, but if  I only ever max out at 500 friends and I am able to help those 500 even in some small way, the value in that alone is worth far more than a fan page with 10,000 people who for whatever reason I am not able to help.

I will take quality over quantity any day. Lesson learned.

In Celebration,

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