What I Miss Monday

Endless Energy….

When I was pregnant with my son I experienced a surge of energy that I quite honestly had never experienced before in my adult life…and sadly have yet to experience again, even during my second pregnancy with my daughter.

While my pregnancy wasn’t considered “high risk”, I did have complications. Severe sciatica pain during the first trimester kept me up crying at night. After those first three months and throughout the rest of the pregnancy I was hit with toxemia. My swelling was so bad that I was given instructions not to drive, vacuum, chop veggies or do anything that required me to grip with my hands and risk the chance of cutting off circulation. It was interesting to say the least.

Because of the toxemia, I was also put under the care of a chiropractor to try and encourage my body to keep things moving along. I don’t know if it was the regular spinal adjustments or just my body hyped up from the whole new pregnancy experience, but I tell ya what…..I had more energy than the Energizer Bunny!

I was at a point where I could not sleep past 6:30 a.m. and I could not lounge around in bed after waking up for more than 30 minutes. Regardless to what time I went to bed on Friday and Saturday nights, I was up, dressed and raring to go by 7:30 a.m., sometimes earlier on Saturday and Sunday mornings. On weekends my husband got to a point where he had to ask me to not wake him before 8. Weekday mornings back then when I was still working were a lot easier too. I loved it!

Unfortunately, gone are the days of boundless energy. Even if I get eight or nine hours of sleep I don’t leap out of bed and I still feel tired. I find myself yawning constantly and just don’t feel that spring in my step like I did during that first pregnancy. Is it the early midlife age that’s got me dragging?? Better not be! If that’s the case can I only expect it to get worse and not better as the years march on? Hmmm, not feelin’ that one.

Quite honestly, I think if did a good detox, and I mean a really good detox – raw foods and/or juices, colonics, herbs, the whole shebang, that I would recapture that energy I’ve been dreaming about for the past nine years. In some ways I’m ready, but in other ways I’m not. I still have mental block issues over what I “might” be missing. So I’m still trying to mentally remind myself about all of the fabulous things I stand to gain, an increase in energy being just one of them.

I chronicled my last raw food detox, or at least a few days of it last year, but I think the next time I do a detox I will really put my best foot forward and go all or nuthin! I’ll keep you posted on when I decide to take that journey, but for now, I’m going to head to bed and get some much needed rest!

In Celebration,
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What I Miss Monday

Dining Out….

Choosing to live a healthy lifestyle can certainly curtail the pleasures of eating out regularly, be it breakfast, lunch or dinner.

It seems like a lifetime ago, but I remember eating out without nary a care of how the food was prepared, whether it was fried and smothered in some type of heavy sauce, loaded with cheese or oozing with sugar. Ahh yes, gone are the good ole days when I would meet with friends to eat out and enjoy savory appetizers, a fat-laden meal, a cocktail or two and dessert. Sometimes it was all-you-can-eat brunch. Sometimes it was lunch and then dinner later…it didn’t matter.

When my husband and I met things didn’t change much. We ate out with friends, indulged in Friday night free-for-alls with an extra large pizza, root beer, chocolate chip cookies and a movie. The next morning we’d feast on grits, eggs, biscuits, sausage and/or bacon and juice. Later we’d have lunch and then dinner. There were no boundaries. We have photos to prove how our lackadaisical approach to nutrition manifested in packed on pounds…..but I won’t share those! ; )

Things are VERY different now. We eat clean Healthy mealsix days a week and allow ourselves one “free” day a week to eat a bit more freely….though we don’t go buck wild with it. We exercise 5-6 days a week and it is extremely rare that we eat out during the week. We even plan our free days to accommodate special events like the upcoming Super Bowl. If we end up at a party we’ll move our normal Saturday free day to Sunday, because what fun is it to be at a Super Bowl party and not enjoy all of the calorie rich appetizers? That’s half the fun!

I do miss eating out more frequently, but I do not miss the extra 20 or so pounds that accompanied that footloose and fancy free lifestyle. By me cooking 99% of our meals I know exactly what is going into our bodies…I have complete control and I like it better that way. By using ingredients like sea salt, agave nectar and coconut oil in my regular cooking regime I know that I’m giving my family some of the healthiest ingredients nature has to offer and that makes me feel good. We may not be indulging our unhealthy cravings on a daily basis, but we are blessing our bodies and showing our kids a lifestyle (through example) that won’t manifest into childhood diabetes or obesity, and a lifestyle that will certainly not fail them in their adult years. So, here’s to good health!

In Celebration,

What I Miss Monday

Poetry Readings….

Back in 1997 a movie well before its time called Love Jones starring Larenz Tate and Nia Long was released. Me and my girl Dana saw the movie and were instantly hooked. It was a comedy/tear-jerk girl-meets-boy-girl-falls-for-boy-boy-and-girl-afraid-of-love-and-split-boy-and-girl-admit-they-love-each-other-in-the-end. You know…the typical plot you wish would happen in your life if you’re single. Well, that was us back then.

But, aside from the fact that we’re hopeless romantics, one of the main inanimate charters of the movie was poetry. The film was set in Chicago and all of the main and supporting characters liked to hang out in a local club that featured a house jazz band and spoken word or “performance poetry”.

I remember watching that movie over and over once it was available for purchase and wishing there were places like that in the Bay Area. I had always heard how culturally rich Chicago is and longed for even a small slice of that in my own stomping grounds. Luckily, for a brief fleeting moment a little spot in Oakland did in fact start a spoken word night on Tuesdays I believe, and me, Dana and oftentimes other girlfriends would gather together at this little bar to be enlightened and entertained by local poets and hip-hop artist wannabes.

We always had a great time and as a writer I used to secretly wish that I had the nerve to get up on stage, grab the mic and share my thoughts with the crowd. But I was never that bold…and didn’t think too many people would care much about the man I was pining over at the time which was then the driving force behind all of my poetic attempts.

Yet and still, even after I met my husband Love Jones was and is still a great movie (the soundtrack is equally good), and I just think there is something very cool about adults gathering together and sharing their creative flow while some smooth and sultry tunes play in the background. A nice Appletini on the side wouldn’t hurt either!Martini_appletini
I dunno, maybe it’s just the artsy-fartsy nature in me that is drawn to things like that. Whatever it is, I miss it, and something like that would make for a great date night with hubby. In the meantime though, I think I’ll go through my movie stash and pull out my VHS copy (yikes!) of Love Jones and pop it in…see if I can remember some of the lines I had memorized at one point and have a good laugh, and yes, probably a good cry too. You know, just for hopeless romantic old time’s sake.

In Celebration,
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What I Miss Monday

Eyebrow Shaping, Manicures, Pedicures and Professional Hair Services….

Well, these go right along with the shopping I shared about last week. This one is really about the pampering that I used to treat myself to on a regular basis.

As part of my regular upkeep I had bi-weekly appointments for my nails and toes…back then it was acrylics or gel nails and during those same appointments I would have my eyebrows shaped. Right before I had my son I stopped getting the acrylics (I was worried about poking or scratching him with the long nails, and I used to get them long) and converted to regular manicures and pedicures. I used to go bi-weekly for my hair services but then started going weekly.

Aside from having a great sense of self-care, the entire process was truly therapeutic. It felt good to sit back and have someone take good care of me. I knew that the people I entrusted my hair and body to were committed to their craft. I wasn’t going to get out of their chairs until they were completely satisfied with their work. This meant a lot to me because I knew they cared about how good I looked as much as I did, I was after all a walking advertisement for their work. And this isn’t about being conceited, but it’s about knowing that I was doing what made me happy in my efforts to exude a healthy outer appearance.

Probably one of my favorite aspects of these regular services, aside from the amazing hand, foot and head massages that normally came with the services, ahhhhh, were the relationships built over time. When you start seeing the same people for services over and over you begin to get to know each other and build a friendship that you come to appreciate. I remember my nail lady Susan and how she used to tell funny stories and jokes. My favorite hair stylist hands down was my best friend from high school, Camille.

Camille and I shared a lot together and as the years progressed after high school we weren’t as close as we once were. But I always looked forward to my appointments with her because there was usually good conversation, and of course, amazing hair. Camille is truly gifted when it comes to her ability to not just style your hair but take care of it and keep it healthy. I always loved my styles from her and I loved how healthy and strong my hair was. At the beginning of this post is a photo from back in the day after Camille had worked her magic before I stopped relaxing my hair, with freshly waxed brows to boot. 

If you live in the Northern California Bay Area you should check her out. She owns her own salon called Mildred’s Place in Concord. I’m really proud of her and I miss Camille as much as I miss my regular pampering services.

So why have all of these services stopped? A couple of reasons. 1. Pretty much the same reason I don’t shop like I used to – we’re living on one salary. We’re not struggling by any means, but those luxury items add up quickly. So, when I can get around to it, I do my nails and toes myself. Perhaps I should schedule regular appointments with myself just as I used to schedule regular appointments in the salon??  2. I stopped relaxing my hair back in 2006. So far everyplace we’ve lived I have not been able to find a stylist who specializes in naturally curly hair who can not only give a good cut, but style my hair according to its needs. I have tight, coily curls. They cannot be managed, manipulated and styled the same way as someone with with looser curls. I tried it once and while she gave me a good cut, I didn’t like how she styled my hair. So, I take full control of my hair care, and I do a pretty good job.

I’ve vowed to make 2010 a bigger, better, badder and bolder year for me and my family. Once I start making those things come to fruition, I’ll be back to my regular mani/pedi appointments. Since the hair issue is null and void for me, perhaps I’ll replace that luxury with regular facials or massages. I’m already off to a good start, I had my eyebrows shaped last week! Do something good for yourself this week, you deserve it!

In Celebration,

What I Miss Monday

Shopping….

Even as a young girl I loved to shop. Trying on clothes and shoes, imagining myself in fashionable outfits – it was all good. And it didn’t matter if it was K-Mart or Emporium Capwells….if it involved getting something new, I was all for it. And then the sheer joy of coming home and trying on the new clothes all over again? Priceless.

In my tween years me and my cousins would catch the bus to El Cerrito Plaza or Hilltop Mall in Northern California, our little allowance money in hand, and we’d buy lunch, go to the bookstore as the three of us were avid readers, buy a book or two with what money we had left over and just hang out.

As a working adult, I appreciated shopping days with my girlfriends more because it meant that I could buy MORE STUFF! We’d make a day of it – shopping, lunch and sometimes the movies and dinner. We’d try on shoes, boots, jeans, tops, jewelery and check out new handbags and matching wallets. Oh, and don’t let it be a sale like the Nordstrom Half Yearly Event! We of course would only actually purchase what we could realistically afford, AKA, whatever available credit was on our credit cards! But no matter what, it was always a great time.

Even 18 months after recalling this original “What I Miss” entry, I still don’t shop the way I used to. As a stay-home-mom on one salary with two kids, usually when it’s time for shopping other than groceries, it’s clothes and shoes for the kids or something for the house.

I was never a shopaholic, but I loved a good shopping day with friends or even by myself. There’s just a “feel good” element to picking out, trying on and purchasing clothes and shoes and walking out of the store excited about when you’ll be able to put your new purchases to good use. And of course, coming home and yes, trying on all your new clothes all over again. Some things never change.

Yes, I miss shopping. I definitely plan to reintroduce this one into my life in 2010. In fact, me and a girlfriend plan to have some shopping fun in February at the Shecky’s Girls Night Out event in Houston..all thanks to another girlfriend who told me about it. It may be over a month away, but it’s shopping nonetheless and I plan to enjoy every minute of it. Bigstockphoto_Friends_Shopping_4317497Because honestly, a lot of what I miss about shopping isn’t just the thrill of getting new clothes, but the therapy of being with friends doing something you enjoy together, being yourself and having FUN. That’s what really matters.

Until next week….

In Celebration,

Get Ready for What I Miss Mondays!

Wow. I can’t believe another new year is already upon us. It’s always at the beginning of a new year that we’re full of fresh ideas and resolve to do things better than we did them in the previous 12 months.

This year I plan to make it a point to share who I am with the world. God didn’t put me here to keep my gifts and talents all to myself. So I am really going to make it a point to come out of my comfort zone and share what I have to offer. It may not be for everyone, and that’s okay! I’m okay with it because whoever needs what I have will get it, and for those who don’t need it I wish them well just the same and perhaps they know someone who does need what I have to share. At any rate, it’s not my job to worry about who will like it and who won’t; who will receive what I have with an open heart and mind and take action and who won’t. My job is simply to share.

So, as part of my ultimate plan to share with the world, I’ve decided to begin sharing with you a little piece of my own self-therapy that I went through about 18 months ago when we first moved to Texas.

As some of you know, that move here to Texas back in the summer of 2008 was the second major relocation we had taken on in an 11-month time span. Both those moves shook me up in a way that was completely unexpected and I eventually realized that I was experiencing my very own early midlife “celebration”. Although I’ll be quite honest that at the time in my mind it was a full blown crisis.

Once I realized what I was experiencing I also wanted to figure out how to get out of my funk and as quickly as possible because it just wasn’t a good place to be in. I had to begin asking myself a lot of tough questions, some of them I wasn’t really ready to be honest with myself but I did it anyway. The purpose of those deep questions was to help me reconnect with myself. One of the questions I had to ask myself was “What do I miss?”. After becoming a wife and mother, as so many other wives and moms can relate to, I seemed to lose myself in my wifely/motherly roles and forgot all about Kitara. So I started making an account of all those things big and small from childhood through adulthood that I missed in my life.

The point of recalling these things wasn’t necessarily to bring them all back into my life, but to simply honor those things that I used to love and enjoy that were no longer in my life. By doing this, I knew that some things I would reintroduce into my life and others I could not or would not as they no longer served me and just didn’t have a place in my life any longer. But, regardless to whether or not some of these things made a reappearance in my life or not, I wanted to simply honor them by recalling and acknowledging them on paper.

What I Miss Mondays, beginning Monday, January 4, 2010, will be me sharing with you all of those things that I recalled and honored from my life as part of my healing journey. It it is my hope that in some small way I may inspire you to recall those things in your life that you may have lost connection with…those things that make you uniquely YOU.

In Celebration,

The opposite of an MLC – how it’s done. | LifeTwo

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An inspiring story told from the perspective of a husband who has fallen head over heels in love with his wife of 20 years all over again because she has committed herself to being the very best she could be despite her age. Loved it!

In Celebration,